About Try to Feel Special.

We all long to feel special, don’t we? Whether or not we try to conceal the fact within ourselves, it’s always there, plaguing our every move, since our every move is really just one more attempt to remain autonomous.

But no, you and I are merely two in a sea of faces, struggling to maintain whatever we believe it is that sets us apart.

Now I know that sounds depressing, but cheer up, you can always try harder. Just look at me. I’m writing a blog about trying to feel special, which is really very silly, since that’s what people do to try and feel special in the first place.

But nonetheless, here I am. And since we’re finally on the subject of me, I can try and explain my reasons for starting a useless virtual diary such as this in the first place.

I am a 19-year-old college student living in Southern California. I do not live in a dorm, I do not belong to a sorority, I don’t have a cool apartment where my roomies and I spend our time drinking too many Red Bulls and Bud Lights and playing Guitar Hero. No, instead, I live with my parents. I go to a university with 35,000+ students and am on a first-name basis with less than .5% of them. My best friends are the ones I made in high school, but half of them went away to college and are now living what some might call the idyllic collegiate experience, of drunken nights and failed classes, etc. No regrets!

So where does that leave me? Stranded on some hideous plane between adolescence and adulthood. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great life, compared to literally billions of other people. Really, I shouldn’t complain. And in all honesty, I’m not. Because I’m not really an extroverted, beer bongin’, class skippin’ kinda girl to begin with. I wouldn’t have liked that life any more than this one. I’m just waiting for something to feel right.

I’m waiting to feel special.